Wednesday 29 January 2014

Grandiouse Theories - Bloodbanks

THE ADDRESSING OF THE ISSUE OF THE FAILINGS OF BLOOD BANKS, DRIVES AND DONATIONS WITH TOPICAL AND CONSIDERED SUGGESTIONS ABOUT WHAT MIGHT BE DONE TO REMEDY THIS SERIOUS SITUATION WITH THE INCLUSION OF SUFFICIENTLY ADVANCED NOTATIONS FOR THE SUFFICIENTLY ADVANCED OF BRAIN.

| INTRODUCTION:
It's that time again and around my city the call has gone out.
We need blood!" they cry and "Give blood today!”
When that doesn't work they switch to more pleading tones “Have you got blood? Because we need it" or even
"Just give us the red stuff and you will be instrumental in saving lives”
Before finally falling back on that old favorite, the guilt trip.
Remember that the life you save might well be your own." [1]

Monday 27 January 2014

The analysis of Godfather Death OR How I stopped worrying and learned to love the Doctor.

THE ANALYSIS OF:
GODFATHER DEATH
OR
HOW I STOPPED WORRYING AND LEARNED TO LOVE THE DOCTOR.

| INTRODUCTION:
There has been a tendency of late for movie makers to tackle the classic fairy tales in much the same way that I do. But where I remain both faithful and respectful of the material the movie versions are generally rewritten to be gritty action packed adventures with the bad CGI monster dial turned all the way up.

Not long ago, whilst I was perusing my various tomes in a room that was illuminated only by the brief punctuation of jagged lighting arcing across the eternity of ebon night and Fluffywuffykins, my pet Shoggoth, looked about for someone to take her walkies I stumbled across more than a few examples which suggested the Grimms themselves weren't above doing the same thing, although understandably they didn't have the budget for poorly rendered CGI monsters.  This particular gem stands out as an example of their darker works. It first came to my attention when the title piqued my interest and what I discovered is that they've discarded the wicked witches, long lost princes and happily ever afters in favor of Death, a doctor and a father who's not afraid to to tell both God and The Devil exactly what he really thinks of them in the same way that we've all dreamed of marching into the bosses office right now.

A further note: Death "TALKS LIKE THIS" only because I am unfortunate enough to be a fan of Terry Pratchett's Discworld series in which the character of Death plays a major role, has a horse named Binky and likes cats [1]. I urge you to stay away from all twenty books. Trust me you'll hate them, really [2].

Tuesday 21 January 2014

The analysis of The Six Swans or How I stopped worrying and learned to love the spaces between the notes.

It is thanks to the demands of real life that Jabberwockery has been dead.  I could tell you about it here but whoever heard of using a blog to provide updates about ones personal life?  What it all boils down to is that Jabberwockery lives once again and without any further ado I present my first posting for 2014. 

THE ANALYSIS OF:

THE SIX SWANS
OR
HOW I STOPPED WORRYING AND LEARNED TO LOVE THE SPACES BETWEEN THE NOTES.

| INTRODUCTION:
It's an undeniable fact that, like so many others, I occasionally wax nostalgic for the old country. This week for instance it was when I was looking at the long list of improbable ingredients involved in creating what I laughingly refer to as a 'simple love spell'.

Aside from the fact that love itself is never simple I take pains to point out the spells of today are even less so. Because what many people don't know is that magic was once very common indeed only instead of mucking around with crystals, familiars and the phases of the moon anybody could point, "Alakazam!" and produce a satisfactory frog from a prince or occasionally vice versa
However the inner workings of the arcane only make up part of tonight's story because what it's really all about is forests, royalty, the importance of family and the great lengths that people will go to to (A) get one and (B) hold on to same.
It is, I believe, also worth noting that this particular Grim Brothers tale wouldn't look out of place under the umbrella of George R R Martins Game of Thrones series although, because of the whole 'children's story' thing, we would have to turn the dragons into swans which is only slightly less threatening as not only can a swan break a mans arm with its wing but will turn vicious pretty quickly as anyone who's ever tried to feed one at a duck pond will attest [1]